(Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Someone call the authorities. A crime has been committed in the Beasley Media Philadelphia coffee area. Some crazed lunatic has brought in flavored coffee to the kitchen. It’s not even a normal flavor of flavored coffee like hazelnut (which also sucks.) It’s some bizarre concoction of Double Vanilla Cinnamon, because plain old vanilla cinnamon just wasn’t enough. There are no leads, and no arrests or firings have occurred since a 5lb bag(!) of flavored coffee has been opened at the WMGK/WMMR/BENFM/WXTU radio stations.
Every day when employees enter this shared coffee area you walk into a wall of smell that can best be described as someone’s failed attempt at a cinnamon bun recipe. The behemoth of a bag (remember it’s 5lbs) doesn’t have the ability to be shut because this mocha mobster decided they were going to cut the top of the bag off and just leave it sitting wide open. “Freshness be damned! This bag will sit open for weeks, while the cinnamon permeates the nostrils of all those who come near this area! **maniacal laughter**” -Probable quote from coffee crook.
Due to the strong scent of this flavored coffee, each staff member who goes to get themselves coffee must do the smell test. This test ensures the safety of other employees, so the coffee drinker is not surprised into doing a hot coffee spit take when the cinnamon vanilla flavors violently assault their taste buds. This…